Year: 2020

The stay-at-home parent who focuses on raising the children has, traditionally speaking, usually been the children’s mother. This is still the way that things work out most of the time, even in 2020, but the amount of stay-at-home fathers has been rising.

For instance, in 1989, the percentage of stay-at-home fathers was just 4%. In 2016, reports showed that it had risen to 7%. There was even a high of 9% recorded in 2010.

It’s clear that, even though mothers (27% in 2016) take on this role more often, fathers are beginning to embrace it. This gives many of them a unique relationship with their children that they may never have had in previous decades.

The reasons for the rise are many. In 2010, the United States was in the middle of a recession. Did the number of fathers at home spike because some had lost their jobs? Plus, over the last few generations, the role of women in the workforce has changed. Did more dads stay at home with their children now because women finally have the career opportunities that were denied to them in the past? All of these things work together and shape the way that parents of both genders interact with their children.

It’s important to acknowledge the role of fathers’ rights in cases involving child custody, divorce and the like. It cannot be assumed that fathers do not want time with their children or cannot offer the care that they need. Fathers are proving what they can. Those who go through a divorce must understand how this shapes their rights and what legal options they have.

Once you personally decide that you want to divorce your spouse, the next step is sharing your feelings with them. Even if you’re ready to get your feelings into the open, it’s easier said than done.

Since you want this conversation to go as smoothly as possible, here are some steps you can take to prepare yourself:

• Write down what you want to say: You don’t have to go into great detail or attempt to script the entire conversation. A few talking points are more than enough. This is what you need to guide the conversation and keep yourself on track.
• Get in the right frame of mind: For example, it’s critical that you’re ready to hold your ground. Your spouse may ask you to reconsider or attempt to talk you out of filing for divorce. When you’re in the right frame of mind, you won’t be talked out of taking action.
• Protect yourself: Think about what could go wrong after asking your spouse for a divorce. If you’re concerned that your spouse could become violent or verbally abusive, it’s best to have this conversation in a public place or over the phone. It’s not ideal, but your safety and well-being is your top priority.

When you take these steps, you can better prepare for the act of asking for a divorce. This doesn’t mean it’ll be quick and simple, but at least you have an idea of how you want to approach the subject.

Once you share your feelings, you can then turn all your attention to the details of the divorce process.

You got married when you were 20. You were young and in love — a fairly classic situation. However, like many young marriages, it turned out to be a mistake. A few years later, you got divorced.

You have now gotten married for a second time. You’re older. You’re more experienced. You have been through all of this. Are you now “better” at marriage and less likely to split up again?

While every individual can make an argument for their own case, when you look at the statistics, it’s clear that this is not what usually happens. According to some studies, about half of first marriages end in divorce. By second marriages, it jumps to around two-thirds. And for third marriages? At 74%, the vast majority of them lead to a divorce.

Why is this? Again, everyone may have their own reasons. Some suggest that they’re just more comfortable with divorce now, having done it once. It doesn’t feel as confusing or intimidating, and they know they can get through it and move on with a happy life. In other cases, the relationships just get too complicated. Maybe you have children from your first marriage, for instance, and so you still have to see your ex. After a time, that can lead to stress for your new spouse and it could bring about a second divorce.

No matter what your individual situation looks like, just make sure you know what your rights are. Divorce happens, you do have options, and you need to know exactly how to move forward with this process.